I drive the 20 minutes into town, carry my bags up the stairs, open the door, hang up my coat, sit down at my big table and look at the work I did the day before.
Then, before doing anything new, I spend twenty minutes or so centering myself by re-reading an old journal. Occasionally there are self sketches in them, like the one above when three chicks had flown, and the youngest remained.
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Well if you're not afraid I am not afraid!
(who invented fear anyway)
Ps. I am Not eating catapillars this time to "prove it".
Have had butterflies in stomach ever since.
It is a disturbing text...
So disturbing that when I read it repeated in the book I am reading of her writings - my heart seemed to stop for a minute.
I am stitching it to the tablecloth because of that emotion that I felt. Part of me says: It's not your text, it is Louise's.
The other part of me says: It is the text of all women artists. We are filled with self doubt at all times...and I am stitching it to conquer that doubt and that fear.
love your idea Judy, it is so true that women artists say these things to themselves all the time. I know I do. I have working with found cloth for about a year and love old linen tablecloths. Love the texture and the slubs. Also keeping an eye on the stains that wear their history in the fibers. It's a great fabric to use. Are you adding a batting too?
it disturbed me, too.
It is disturbing...but all is not always pretty and good. This will be a strong and powerfully emotive cloth. We are all filled with self doubt as you say Judy and it's sometimes nice to get it out there, especially when something has moved you so much.
Jacky xox
It's as if you are having a conversation with Louise, or that you are engaging in the same dialogue that she (without necessarily desiring or intending) was and always will be a part of. To me, it makes a great deal of sense that this exercise offers you something grounding. Journaling? like come on judys journal....sometimes it is nice to make sense isn't it?
love you mom obviously miss you so much. so glad we named cute lil lou Louise back in the day.
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