Home from England

It's easy to say - trust in yourself.

It's easy to say - just do one thing that you're sure of and as you do that, you will start to know what to do next.

It's easy to say - plunge in, and then go slowly.

It's easy to say -  not to know but to go on.

Working intuitively.

I think that this kind of approach seems mysterious and a little scary, 

but it really is very much like life itself. 

we went to a family wedding in Newcastle on Tyne in the UK..  There were peeling church bells

We don't know what will happen each day.

It helps to follow routines.  It gives a sense that we do know.  

For example I always sleep on the same side of the bed.

But many things happen over the course of a day that you cannot plan for.

You just have to react.  

A typical example is a conversation.

You cannot predict what the grandson will tell you or what your old friend will ask you, but you will reply.  And it will be a good reply.

The conversation will continue.  Something worthwhile will happen.

You didn't know that this would happen.  You didn't plan for it. 

Same with my stitching. 

When I begin, I have a general idea inspired by the materials.

For the torso piece in this post, I was triggered by the faded indigo silk.  

I took the faded cloth with me to England along with a wool backing cloth and some pinkish toned threads.

I honestly did not know what would happen with it. 

I started at the edges and with couching.    

I liked how they became strong and also lively.

I drew the piece into my journal,

Then I looked at some photos of pre-history Newgrange 

and put some dots and zigzags into my journal drawing. 

The British Rail system is really good.  Ned and I spent quite a bit of time on trains moving back and forth between the north of England and the south west region of Cornwall.

Couching is one of my signature techniques.

As I was doing it, I thought about another favourite technique, the reverse applique dot.

I could reveal the white backing cloth using that technique. 

We visited the Hepworth Gallery in Wakefield to see the Sheila Hick's retrospective.  

While in England I stitched when I needed to. 

In the middle of night sometimes and also on trains and planes.  

Doing one thing and then another thing

Liking something and repeating it 

Not liking something and not repeating it.  

This is the way I work.

Our elder daughter and her teen boys and our son and his wife went to the wedding too.

Sometimes 'mistakes' happen, 

and I have to cut things up or in half and start again. 

I keep going.

I don't know but I keep going. 

believing

 

 NOT that the art object is inherently significant

 

 meaningful or beautiful

 

 BUT THAT the value

 and meaning of art is actively constructed

 

 by the viewer.

 (Marcel Duchamp's belief)

the most beautiful thing

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
It is the source of all true art and science.

He to whom the emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand wrapped in awe, is as good as dead - - - his eyes are closed.

The insight into the mystery of life, coupled though it be with fear, has also given rise to religion.

 

 

To know that what is impenetrable to us really exists,
manifesting itself as the highest wisdom and the most radiant beauty,

which our dull faculties can comprehend only in their most primitive forms.

 This knowledge,

 This feeling,

 is at the center of true religiousness.

 In this sense, and in this sense only

I belong to the rank of devoutly religious men.

Albert Einstein 

sunset boat ride

We went for a sunset boat ride last night.

The Alaska family is visiting.  They drove across Canada from Anchorage. 

It's been a busy and beautiful July. 

I like the shine of the water at the sunset hour.

Continuing my stitching, but not as much as usual. xo

Motherhood

Time is always ticking for women
Whereas men, apparently, live in a timeless realm.
In the dimension of men, there is no time, just space.

Apparently, during thirty years of a woman's life - fourteen to forty four- everything must be done.  She must find a man, make babies, start and accelerate her career, avoid diseases, and collect enough money in a private account so that her husband can't gamble their life's savings away.  Thirty years is not enough time to live a whole life.

How could I have been so naive about how time acts in the life of a woman?
How it is the essential realm in which a woman lives.

You women who wish to live in the realm of space, not time -you will see what gifts the universe has waiting.

Will I?
Yes
Just look around
But some women are happy!
But some women are not..
How do I know which I will be?
You cannot know until it's too late.

Sheila Heti - Motherhood

People are dominant in either thinking, or feeling - and psychic health is using all one's faculties.
I have to use feeling more.
Yes
In my body?
Yes
In my senses?
Yes
Should I try to sense more things?
No
Should I try to sense what I do sense, more consciously?
Yes
What does that mean?  With more discernment?
No
More love?
Yes
Is consciousness love?
No
Does consciousness create love?
Yes
In every case?
Yes

Sheila Heti  - Motherhood

I have a heart full of sadness and wishes.
Everything feels like tears.
He makes me feel like tears
But without stress on the mind, there is no mind.
Is what I am feeling the hormonal sadness?
Yes
If only there was some good in it.  Is there?
Yes
Is the benefit that one stays away from other people?
Yes
And one is also more sensitive.
Both of these things are good for writing.
Will my sadness be gone by tomorrow night?
Yes
Why do couples have so many problems with each other?
Has anyone ever adequately answered this question?
Yes
Was it a woman who did?
Yes
Did a man give a good answer too?
Yes
Was the man's answer basically blaming the woman?
Yes
And did the woman's answer blame the man?
No
She blamed herself?
Yes
Did the man blame the woman for her frailities?
Yes
And did the woman just guiltily condemn herself?
Yes
would things work out better for men and women if women didn't guiltily condemn themselves?
Yes
I'm sorry.  Are my frailities to blame?
Yes

Sheila Heti    Motherhood

fam jam 2018

 

 

 The Alaska family was with us at the old family cottage from August 22 until September 4.

 The two grand boys did a lot of fishing

 They also did a lot of swimming.

and a lot of comic book reading. 

 

April made fresh bread for breakfast every day.

 Our four.  April, Oona, Grace and Jay.  (Oona's husband Matt in background)

a beautiful and gentle time