Showing posts with label cloud in me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cloud in me. Show all posts

Saturday, December 14, 2024

Murmuration

murmuration 

This is a post about a new quilt top, murmuration.  I want to write about the process and how it made me feel as I machine pieced pinwheels from silk samples that were given to me by my daughter April and her friend, Em J, who works in film costuming. 

I want to write about how I let this obsession happen and how I loved that it happened.  I was in a rare place of creativity and had to keep sewing and pinning to the wall until finished.  

I used silly rules things like having to sew the four half square triangle blocks of a pinwheel together when I ran out of pins and then eventually having to sew two pinwheels together when I ran out of pins again.

And I want to tell you how I used my body, not my mind, (unless it was my mind that made up the limits and rules). For example I didn't let myself change the size of the gifted strips of cloth.  If they were 5 1/2 inches wide, I left them that size and therefore had to pair them with another strip the same size.  Eventually, when I was forced by to change colour, I would trim the larger piece, and that is why there are smaller triangles.  They are the trimmings from the wider strips.                    

I also added some pieces from my own supply of shot silks, but chose not to have any reds or yellows in order keep to the rather sombre palette in the original fabrics.  

Usually when I work I turn the phone timer to one hour but for the ten days that it took me to do this piecework, I turned it to two hours at a time.  Even then, time went by so quickly.

And yet, physically, I tried to slow everything down.  I used my body and moved a fair amount for each step.  I cut the four squares needed for a pinwheel at my cutting board and then marked them carefully with the diagonal lines for seams and then I would walk around the table to my sewing machine and sew them together and cut them.  Then I had to get up and go to the iron in order to press them flat, and then walk into another room to the pinwall and place them.  Then I sat for a while in my chair and look at it all, eventually getting up to go back to the cutting board to cut out two more sets of squares.  My rules said that they had to be a different pair than the previous time which made it interesting for me.  My point is that I did not try to cut a whole bunch of squares at one time, or do any chain piecing, or iron everything at the same time.  Each block was done one at a time and then looked at.  Regarded. It was like painting with my body and the sewing machine and the iron and those beautiful silks.

I wanted to tell you this thing about moving my body more than I needed to because of the feeling that it was necessary to slow down the machine sewing.  I used the wall as if it was a piece of paper or canvas and worked by intuition in that arbitrary placement.  I was obsessed with getting the whole thing finished though, because of the placement.  It wasn’t as if I could just pile up the blocks and put them in a drawer, I had to finish it in the one go.  At least that's how it felt.  Urgent.

When I finished I put my coat and boots on and took my cane so that I could manage my way down the gentle slope that was deep in drifted snow and pinned the sewn assemblage on the line I have there, down in the cedars.  


It had snowed three or four inches overnight and the east morning light was delightful on the moving lake.  

Now I've chosen a backing cloth from the silk fabric that my instagram friend, Fabia, gifted me earlier this year (two shades of gold), and I will hand stitch this not-square shape.

I love that it is shaped like a cloud and I may make another.  

The thing is, I thought I'd lost this almost erotic passion of losing myself in creativity for such a long period.  I realized that I was in that rare place where reality was outside of me. I was in a dream world and I knew it.  I was in another place.  I was aware of this and I loved it.

It's hard to write this so it makes sense, but maybe you understand.  

I think you do.  

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

heart ache and delight, both are gifts

everything that occurs is actually the path itself

the best I can do, the most and the least
walking barefoot in my house

grounding myself, keeping my energy balanced

and my vulnerable innerness
I am past menopause now and children have flown, but that does not mean that I have stopped my deep and powerful inner life

In fact, my inner life is immense

it is a cloud, a beautiful cloud
I am an emotional thinker

blessed and lucky to be  given time to

pour my love into these cloths

it is all a gift

the glittering water, the bird song, the trees

you can scream into your journals

I am making simpler and simpler quilts

I am enjoying the process more and more

we know nothing
even about ourselves

(virginia woolf)
quilts are the strongest art form to express intimacy

I become part of the cloth as I stitch

and then I cover you with me
nothing extra

just dedication

there is a horizon between reality and our ability to imagine

i want to be loved

i am here
use everything that happens as a means for waking up

wake up

the sun is available always

it shines on everyone with no discrimination

(pema chodron)

Sunday, May 14, 2017

Sunday quilt photo

I am doing a lot of stitching these days.
I start early in the morning and continue through the day, into the evening.
I have an exhibition in Toronto in October and have designed 8 new pieces, none of them small.
Several of them are white
Four are made with old linen domestic damask..
I think that the title of the exhibition will have the word cloud in it.
I am still inspired by Luce Irigarary's poem 

especially the line "how do I make earth out of air, and protect the cloud in me?"
I am a bit worried that this blog will be boring as I work on these same 8 quilts over the summer.
I hesitate to show them here actually.
Isn't there a rule somewhere that artists must keep the work secret until the big unveil at the opening?
But then what would I show in my blog?
Rule, shmule.
This post is the first of Sunday quilt photos showing the progress of this body of work.
It also will document the advance of spring and summer here in my yard.
Today it's the middle of May and the new green all over is really fresh.
It's mother's day.
I share this lovely portrait of my mother Pauline in her mid-30's.

Mother's day was her very favourite holiday.
She didn't allow us to celebrate her birthday.

It is also my father's birthday today.   He turns 94.
He's been alone for ten years now.
These new quilts are journals of my spring of great happiness.
I feel as if I have a cloud of love in me.  

Thursday, May 11, 2017

some questions to ponder


how does intimacy play into your work?
 is time always a central theme in your work?
 how do you conceptualize charting time through material?
can you speak about gratitude and surrender in the context of the quilt maker's relationship with her quilt?
 why do you often photograph your work outside in nature?
 you say that you make narrative metaphoric quilts, please explain
the raw edges of the torn linen damask express my open-hearted vulnerability
the wool string figure that stands up in the cloud of white air is slightly crooked
the self is both narrative and metaphor
when I realize that I can keep making quilts as long as I can thread a needle, I am full of gratitude

the stimulating questions in this post come from a young woman I spoke with on phone yesterday and I am still thinking about how I might best answer them
she was 21 years old, the same age I was when I made my first quilt.
"Love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language.   Live the questions now.  Perhaps then, someday, far in the future you will gradually, without even noticing, live your way into the answers "  From Letters to a Young Poet by  Rainer Maria Rilke

Friday, April 07, 2017

I am not myself

I was not myself.
So who do you think you are then?
Think again.
Whatever it was, was trying to tell me to do things, not exactly for any reasons but just to see if such acts were possible.
Motives were not necessary.
It was only necessary to give in.
How strange.
The birds began to stir, and then to sing, as if each of them had thought of it separately, up there in the trees.  They woke far earlier than I would have thought possilbe.
People have thoughts they'd sooner not have.
It happens a lot.

All text by Alice Munro from Dear Life collection of short stories
All images from 2010 file on one of our trips to Alaska to visit the grand children. (the completed piece is here)

Just because this is how I feel today.
I am not myself.
And I just found out that Alice Munro and I have the same birth day and I am enjoying this book quite a bit and my hard drive is plugged in and it's spring. xo.

Tuesday, April 04, 2017

Timeless

 I am making marks with a needle and thread.
Each mark, each stitch is unique.
Each mark a small texture.
Each mark a reminder of my hand's caress.
Not only do the marks express this gentle touch, they also carry the 4th dimension of time.
It takes months to put all these stitches into my cloths.
Months of lived experience.

Just consider what happens during that amount of time.
The daily waking up and going back to sleep
the events of the world and of personal life story.

It's awesome.
It causes wonder.
recall the past
leap into the future
think about how brief our time is to be alive
of what we might accomplish

our precious time
Think about all of these things at the same time
I want these individual one at a time marks to look as if they've always been there.

I want them to be timeless. 

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

stitching in car

 We're just back from a road trip down to Chicago and back.  I stitched all the way.
international bridge Saulte Ste. Marie Ontario and Michigan
 I love road trips with my husband.
I worked on two pieces, both stitched circles within squares.  In the darker piece, I put a narrow binding on the edges.
Mackinac Suspension Bridge that connects the upper and lower penninsulas of Michigan
We had good driving weather..
I am couching strips of sari silk to a golden coloured circle.
Not sure yet if it represents the sun or the moon.
the Chicago Skyway bridge
 The reason for our trip to Chicago was to help our daughter move from her apartment.
bisque procelain with indigo by April Martin
 I was pleased to be assigned the task of wrapping her ceramics and small sculptures.
oxidized copper ribbon sculpture by April Martin
 It was lovely to finally have such a good look at her work and to touch it.
 We brought her across the border as far as Toronto.
 The base fabric for the yellow circle is a plant dyed wool.  I love the reverse side.
rock cuts Northern Ontario
Ned and I spent a bit of time in Toronto before driving north again.  We had a visit with our two young grand daughters. It was nice to be thrown out of our routine and feel so useful.
a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust.....this gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky
Rainer Maria Rilke