monumental repetition

the repetitive  eyelet

row after curved row of circles
of eyelet repeats
buttonhole loops around and around
pulling gently at the center to make holes

contained voids
the fabric stronger with the addition of thread
rows of strong holes
small marks
small windows
small voids
all round and neat and tight and packed as if they are the fabric
it's so labour intensive and slow, you can't imagine

while my family is visiting I stay up late
I stitch until 2 or 3 am every morning like I used to do when the kids were young and at home
actually I look forward to it
I hardly slept when I was a mother-artist
now I am a grandmother artist

how long does it take ?  an hour? 3 hours?
double that
triple it
the amount of time and repetitive movement in this piece of cloth is monumental
it's obsessive, the repeating I do of the same gesture
it's like tying skates, tugging gently with each eyelet
like dancing, turning the fabric in my hands to make the circles

the result is so delicate
like snow flakes
like flowers
like fields and rows of planted, weeded, tulips
fileds of holes
fields of buttonholes and unimaginable time spent

stitching soothes me after a day of trying too hard
what will please everyone?
what would they like to eat?
should we go for a walk?
should I read? talk? listen?

stitching these solid strong lines of white
up and down, over and through, do it again
up and down, over and through, do it again
over and over and over
the same rhythm, the stronger fabric
it's heavier, weightier now
and there is still much to do