Tuesday, September 06, 2016

I said thank you

On Sunday I visited Dad and he was in the middle of something.  He was going to see a woman about a movie and was by the door so I opened it for him and we went out.  He told me just to wait a few minutes, he'd be back.  I said OK and found some shade and took out my stitching and he rolled his wheels away from me with his hands very slowly, getting stuck now and then.

He has dementia and I haven't had a real conversation with him for months and months.  Granted, I didn't see him during the ealry part of the summer when I had that broken leg, but now I try to go in every other day.  He knows me, but exactly who he thinks I am varies.
During today's visit I told him that I had just come from paying the rent for my studio and was planning to start working there again.  He asked me how much was the rent, and then told me that he had a space he'd like me to have for free.  Does it have high ceilings? I asked and it did.  He said it would please him very much if he could give it to me, so I said thank you.

19 comments:

Jenny M said...

Oh, that is sad. Life can be cruel to the ones we love.

wholly jeanne said...

Oh how I love this story. It's like having a conversation with Nancy (who also has dementia on top of everything else): you just meet them where they are and say "I love you" and "thank you" a lot.

Lynn Holland said...

How gentle and how right lovely lady xx

Kathleen said...

Thank you was the Absolute Best thing you could say. I quit my high paying job, sold my house, and moved into my mother-in-law's house with my husband to care for my mother-in-law once she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. It was a rewarding 12 year journey with her. She may not have known who I was during the last few years, but I Knew Who She Was. That is such a profound statement that I heard several years ago, and it has stuck with me ever since. I believe in leading by example and it is nice to see that others do to!

Margaret said...

Thank you.

grace Forrest~Maestas said...

how good he must have felt in that moment, to offer you
something you really needed, that would make a difference
for you, his daughter

Mo Crow said...

namaste

kat said...

Just being with, not questioning is often enough - accepting what is there and loving it for all it is and has been. Good thoughts to you and your Dad x

Els said...

images getting fuzzy by stitch ....
(similarity to the sad story)

Judy Martin said...

Yes, the images are fuzzy. Similar to the sad story.
you are very perceptive, Els. xo

My Dad actually had a set of apartments that he owned and rennovated and rented out for a long long time - so what he offered me was very sensible and generous. Thanks for all your understanding comments.
x

Stephanie Jo said...

Sometimes a sad story is also a beautiful story.

sisa said...

...very touching!

Dana said...

He hasn't lost the impulse to be generous...that is lovely.

Velma Bolyard said...

what a kind and beautiful story.

Lyn said...

a beautiful post, thank you for sharing it with us Judy xxx

Dolores said...

It's so nice that he's close enough for you to visit him often.

mansuetude said...

Thank you.
My love to you. X

mansuetude said...

Top image took my breath.
Like seein, really seeing the possible light, the luminous, in the water in the holy act of recieving rain. Beautiful Judy.

Judy Martin said...

Re: the piece in the photos. Called Innana's Prayer Rug - completed as we turned into the new millennium - 2000,
It won the purchase award in the first exhibition I showed it in - the Ontario Juried Show and is now part of that collection.
I'm pretty sure that the collection is still together, even though there is no more Ontario Juried show and hasn't been for ten years at least.

These are the best photos that I have of that piece. They are the only photos.