Thursday, May 10, 2012

hurricane judy

I've been visiting my 89 year old father since Monday. He sometimes admits to being on the other side of the mountain, and that he needs more help. But then the next morning he denies any kind of change.
I ask him too many questions, push him to make appointments, and I guess, just think about things. I feel that I am a whirl wind and he's just waiting for the weather to clear again when I leave.
I've been stitching. It calms me.

15 comments:

April said...

mom. i love you, every bit of you. own it……...

Mostly Turquoise said...

Ach Judy, it calms you and it's beautiful! My feelings are with you...

raquel said...

love

Ms. said...

I assume your father doesn't read the blog, and oh, maybe the most difficult thing is to help and honor, stay close and caring without trespassing,respond to signs of trouble without being alarmed, and take everything in simultaneously. Though I miss having a mother, I'm grateful she left without offering me the problem of her weakening years because I feel I would have been unskilled in managing to be truly helpful.

mansuetude said...

ah, i know this story.
can read this part of your stitching journal by "heart"

enjoy the time

mansuetude said...

ps a hurricane has a very still center :)

Lynn said...

beautiful stitching...I am sure you are doing fine as far as your dear father is concerned. It's a hard time...I did it in our home with my mom for a year and a half before she died at 82. She had dementia so was often "over the mountains"...or out in left field... it was the hardest part of her life I am sure and ours too. But I'm glad I was there for her.

Judy Martin said...

He used to read my blog, but doesn't do it now unless I tell him that there is a photo of one of the kids up on it.

I am enjoying every minute, but it is very hard work to stay emotionally centered. My sister lives close and we are helping each other.


thanks for all your love.

Jennifer said...

What is it about stitching that calms us all? Maybe you could get your dad to stitch a bit too?

Grace Martin said...

love you, Mom

Anonymous said...

I think it is this generation that gets to really experience this. Perhaps that is why so many are turning back to the hand crafts of stitching and knitting, to stay centered.

helen said...

Anonymous is me. Helen Salo, I own what I say, don't know how it came up like that. ha!

kaiteM said...

i've been thinking about this for a day or so and having both worked in Aged Care and being a Carer for my late 80's Mum i decided to add my thoughts. It could well be that Dad needs some help, comfort or just someone around in the late afternoon/evenings, but not so much in the mornings. In Aged Care centres they call it 'sundowning', (ie at dusk) that's when a person feels most vulnerable and needs some guidance. cheers

kat said...

so hard to balance loving concern with respect for independence; who's doing the parenting and who's the child, it's a difficult journey

montse llamas-artsandcats said...

Age and fear sometimes go togethet. Too young to be ready, too old to be ready...